A Special Post from A Guest Writer (One of My Readers)
“I’m surrounded by idiots!” So sighed Scar, Simba’s evil uncle in Disney’s “The Lion King.” This is how I feel now, almost everyday, as I venture out amongst the public. It seems people are unable to conduct a simple business transaction without getting it wrong or causing everyone around them pain and discomfort.
It seems this comes into focus every morning when I simply try to buy a bagel.
First, people are unable to correctly form a line. They walk in, stop in their tracks and form the line so that either no one else can get behind them, or they are blocking traffic so people can neither enter or exit- thus creating greater confusion.
Their behavior on line (or in line if you prefer) only aggravates normal people further. The line is comprised of many individuals, each of whom is annoying in their own special way.
You have the person who is on the cell phone talking about absolutely nothing -- no life-threatening situation, no critical business discussion- just total vacuous speech. All leading nowhere. The conversation usually proceeds as follows (you can imagine the other end of the conversation just from the responses):
“So what are you doing? REALLY? Me too! I’m standing on line to buy a bagel- that is soooooooo weird! We are both standing on line at the same time, only at different places…” “I wish I had known then I could have stood on line with you for your coffee, then we could have come over here and you could have stood on line while I bought my bagel…” And so on and so on.
Meanwhile, the line is progressing and it is finally the cell phone person’s turn. Does she hang up and tell her friend she will call her back? Of course not, this is much too important a call to terminate. So she tells her friend that it is her turn and that she has been so busy talking that she doesn’t know what she wants. Then she repeats the same thing to the clerk. Don’t worry about the people behind you, no! The details of her boring life are much more important.
Another favorite is the mother-child scenario. Usually, the Ute (See“My Cousin Vinny”) has been misbehaving with the mother saying “no, Johnny, no.” Of course she doesn’t want to discipline the child because she wants to be his friend rather than his parent.
Finally the pair get to the counter and the mother asks little Johnny- who is no more than 2 and doesn’t know his alphabet -- what he would like off the menu. He looks at her like she’s crazy for expecting him to read, then says, “I want a Happy Meal.” Mommy says they don’t sell those here, what else would he like? Johnny replies: “Chicken Nuggets.” Of course the mother could not have done this while she was waiting and ends up telling the clerk “he’ll have a plain bagel with nothing on it.” Which is what she should have done in the first place, rather than trying to empower Johnny and advance his reading and social skills.
Then, the person directly in front of me always orders a dozen bagels. Nothing hard there, right? Wrong! Here is how that conversation unfolds:
Customer: Ummmmmmmm, I want a dozen bagels
Clerk: Ok
Customer: Ok, I’ll have one poppy… how many does that leave me?
Clerk: 11
Customer: Ok I’ll take two sesame. How many is that?
Clerk: (annoyed) 3
This excruciating process continues till we hit the magic twelve. Then of course the clerk says, “you have 12 you get one more.“ The customer responds, “but I only wanted a dozen.”
Finally, it is time to pay for the purchase. The customers seem genuinely surprised that they have to pay. Did they pull their money or credit card out while standing there? (Of course the cell phone girl didn’t -- because she is still talking.) So after fumbling they pay for the purchase, begin to walk away and say, “I forgot -- I want a latte.”
What bothers me most about this is that if people thought about anyone else other than themselves, the line would move much faster. The total disregard for who and what is going on around them seems to get worse every day…and every day I mutter: “I’m surrounded by idiots.”
It seems this comes into focus every morning when I simply try to buy a bagel.
First, people are unable to correctly form a line. They walk in, stop in their tracks and form the line so that either no one else can get behind them, or they are blocking traffic so people can neither enter or exit- thus creating greater confusion.
Their behavior on line (or in line if you prefer) only aggravates normal people further. The line is comprised of many individuals, each of whom is annoying in their own special way.
You have the person who is on the cell phone talking about absolutely nothing -- no life-threatening situation, no critical business discussion- just total vacuous speech. All leading nowhere. The conversation usually proceeds as follows (you can imagine the other end of the conversation just from the responses):
“So what are you doing? REALLY? Me too! I’m standing on line to buy a bagel- that is soooooooo weird! We are both standing on line at the same time, only at different places…” “I wish I had known then I could have stood on line with you for your coffee, then we could have come over here and you could have stood on line while I bought my bagel…” And so on and so on.
Meanwhile, the line is progressing and it is finally the cell phone person’s turn. Does she hang up and tell her friend she will call her back? Of course not, this is much too important a call to terminate. So she tells her friend that it is her turn and that she has been so busy talking that she doesn’t know what she wants. Then she repeats the same thing to the clerk. Don’t worry about the people behind you, no! The details of her boring life are much more important.
Another favorite is the mother-child scenario. Usually, the Ute (See“My Cousin Vinny”) has been misbehaving with the mother saying “no, Johnny, no.” Of course she doesn’t want to discipline the child because she wants to be his friend rather than his parent.
Finally the pair get to the counter and the mother asks little Johnny- who is no more than 2 and doesn’t know his alphabet -- what he would like off the menu. He looks at her like she’s crazy for expecting him to read, then says, “I want a Happy Meal.” Mommy says they don’t sell those here, what else would he like? Johnny replies: “Chicken Nuggets.” Of course the mother could not have done this while she was waiting and ends up telling the clerk “he’ll have a plain bagel with nothing on it.” Which is what she should have done in the first place, rather than trying to empower Johnny and advance his reading and social skills.
Then, the person directly in front of me always orders a dozen bagels. Nothing hard there, right? Wrong! Here is how that conversation unfolds:
Customer: Ummmmmmmm, I want a dozen bagels
Clerk: Ok
Customer: Ok, I’ll have one poppy… how many does that leave me?
Clerk: 11
Customer: Ok I’ll take two sesame. How many is that?
Clerk: (annoyed) 3
This excruciating process continues till we hit the magic twelve. Then of course the clerk says, “you have 12 you get one more.“ The customer responds, “but I only wanted a dozen.”
Finally, it is time to pay for the purchase. The customers seem genuinely surprised that they have to pay. Did they pull their money or credit card out while standing there? (Of course the cell phone girl didn’t -- because she is still talking.) So after fumbling they pay for the purchase, begin to walk away and say, “I forgot -- I want a latte.”
What bothers me most about this is that if people thought about anyone else other than themselves, the line would move much faster. The total disregard for who and what is going on around them seems to get worse every day…and every day I mutter: “I’m surrounded by idiots.”
Posted by Warren Adelman at 5/21/2008 8:18 PM 
Categories: Human behavior
Tags: social behavior cellphone
Categories: Human behavior
Tags: social behavior cellphone
Here's an alternate taxonomy: Types of Annoying People You'll Find Inside Starbucks
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Too funny Bill. Thanks for sharing. You know what I think of the Bluetooth ear pieces!
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I've encountered the obnoxious mother/father and child combo time and again. Each and every time I wonder: who is in charge? The answer is either no one or the kid.
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